YAAASSS! I’m super happy to be back to do a new blog post! Sorry for my short 4 day break btw. Anyway, for today’s post I’m joined with (well, not exactly joined) Joce (Isobel Moon)! Thank you, Joce, for volunteering to do a guest post on my blog! So, let’s get to it!
Let’s be real. Stress sucks!!
Dictionary.com defines it as a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism. When I read that, it’s not the whole sentence that sticks with me (if you read that and know what it’s talking about in one shot, you’re a genius), but one word– FEAR. Yes, I know it might not seem like that at times, but that’s exactly what stress is. An overwhelming fear of doing something, of failing, of feeling so completely lost as to how to begin that you can’t even begin to think about the final product. Think carefully about when you stress out. The underlying emotion is (predominantly) fear. I think that’s one of the key reasons why so many people have stress that they physically cannot control. Human beings and doctors alike treat it as an anxiety related illness, when it is really caused by being afraid.
Most of you don’t know me, and even if you read my blog I doubt you know this, but I have an incredible amount of stress when it comes to school and basketball. The reason for this isn’t because I can’t do it (I’m actually high in my class and playing basketball in college) but because I put so much pressure on myself to not just succeed, but to be the best at it. And I don’t want to settle for anything less. In a way, it’s because of this that I’ve done so well in both areas of my life. But on the other hand, it’s the exact same reason that I spend hours at night crying, and sit up at night worrying about whether I will accomplish everything I need to. And you know what, in the past couple of years I’ve started to learn that IT’S NOT WORTH IT. I promise. To be honest, that’s the biggest part of living a life that’s stress-free.
You’re better than stress. Tell your stress, your problems, to fuck off. I know that’s not easy, because obviously if you’re stressing about it it’s a huge deal in your life. But you have to. Start simple. When it starts to overwhelm you, you have two choices. You can let it, or you can fight back. For me, that came through positive mantras. I literally had to tell myself that I didn’t care if I failed a test (as long as I had done my best to prepare) and then I slowly started to believe it. You can actually trick your brain into believing that you’re okay just by repeating it over and over to yourself.
At this point, there’s probably many of you out there saying Well, good for her, but I’m stressed out because I have so much to do, not because I’m afraid of failing at it. I know I can do it, I just don’t know when. If this is you, let me tell you something. Right now, you’re afraid of failing at completing all of your tasks. Let go of the fear. This is something where prioritising might actually come in handy, so I highly recommend. Make sure that you’re putting the most important tasks first. This is normally where my stress hits the hardest– there’s so much to do and all of it is important so I don’t know where to start. Sounds relatable? Pick somewhere and attack it. And, while you’re doing that, forget about everything else. NEVER LOOK AHEAD. Sounds dumb, right? You need to look ahead to prioritise. True. But when you are completing one task, don’t think about any of the others. Because, (ready to be amazed?) when you’re working on one project, thinking about the other isn’t going to get it done any faster!!!!! *gasps* *passes out in shock*. Really, sarcasm aside, this trick works. Even if you don’t think that you’re mentally multitasking, you probably are. You have to focus on focusing. Some experts believe that meditation will help decrease stress. And maybe they’re right. But personally, I believe that the best “meditation” is focusing on the work in front of you at that exact moment and pushing everything else (other homework, a project, a test, a big game, breaking up with your boyfriend, marrying your boyfriend) out of your head. The good or the bad need to go, and with it the stress will go. You’re brain is physically incapable about stressing and being overwhelmed when you are only allowing it to think about math problem #12. It doesn’t realise that you have 150 and it’s already midnight. Just take it one (tiny) step at a time, and I promise that this will make your life much more stress free.
Nothing in life is such a big deal that it’s worth ruining your life for. Stress for many people is not life inhibiting (on the surface) but it really does impact your day to day and hurts you by making you less happy, and less satisfied with life, than you should be. And screw that. You deserve to have a perfect life, because you are perfect in your own way. Just don’t be afraid of not being perfect. Be more willing to make mistakes. If you have too much going on and that is causing your stress, tell yourself that you can do it. Deep down, you know that’s true, because otherwise you probably wouldn’t be in a position to be earning all of those things to do in the first place. Remember above all that you are amazing, and that you are capable of doing whatever you put your mind too.
If any of you want someone to talk to, know that I’m always here to give advice or just listen to rants and be a *virtual* shoulder to cry on. I love each and every one of you, and I want you to be happy. Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or find me at my book blog, writethroughthenight.wordpress.com